If you remember the story of Jacob and Esau in the Bible, you probably remember they had a lot of sibling rivalry going. They were twin brothers, and Jacob was born hanging onto Esau's heel. Jacob was the younger brother and in their culture that meant Esau was entitled to the elder brother's portion and to his father's blessing. Jacob tricked his brother into selling his birthright for a bowl of stew and then tricked his father into giving him the blessing that should have been Esau's.
Esau was understandably a little upset. Their mother, Rebekah, sent Jacob off to a foreign land for a while to let Esau cool off. Jacob goes off, gets married, gains wealth and gets tricked himself (but that's another story). Jacob wants to return to his homeland but is a little worried about how Esau will react. He sends some of his flocks ahead as gifts to Esau, hoping to soften him up a bit.
As Jacob is getting close, he hears Esau is coming to meet him with 400 men. About this time, Jacob starts to get a little worried. He starts to pray for God's protection. (Maybe he is getting a little wiser by now.) Esau receives Jacob with forgiveness and grace. He even tells Jacob he doesn't need the gifts of sheep and goats. Of course, he accepts them later since Jacob insists.
Then, Jacob gives Esau the best compliment. He says to Esau, "For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably." (Genesis 33:10) Jacob may not have been very wise, but he recognizes the God like characteristics of forgiveness, mercy, and grace when he sees them. When we forgive one another and let go of our anger (no matter how justified), we show the face of God to those we forgive.
The other day, I was definitely not showing my husband the face of God. It is a hard job to be the face of God to other people (especially husbands).
We have two main jobs in our relationships:
1. To be the face of God to others. (We are Christ's ambassadors.)
2. To see the face of God in others. (To value other people and see the good in them.)
These are both great anteaters.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Turning sorrow into joy
What turns our sorrow into joy?
I was doing a Bible study on trying to figure out what it is that causes our sorrow to turn to joy. It's easy to get stuck in sorrow and not be able to find our way out. I wanted to find out how God does what he promises when he said "I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow."
Joseph was sorrowful when he found out Mary was pregnant. He thought he would have to divorce her. What turned his sorrow into joy, was finding out it was part of God's plan.
Moses was sorrowful when he was thrown out into the desert. What turned his sorrow into joy, was being called by God to a mission. He was given a job to do.
Joseph was sorrowful when he was thrown into the pit and sold into slavery. What turned his sorrow into joy, was his knowledge that God was in control and even if people meant it for evil, God meant it for good.
They listened to God, they developed the ability to see and trust in God's plan. They knew that today's sorrows would be tomorrow's joy.
Jeremiah 31:13Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.
I was doing a Bible study on trying to figure out what it is that causes our sorrow to turn to joy. It's easy to get stuck in sorrow and not be able to find our way out. I wanted to find out how God does what he promises when he said "I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow."
Joseph was sorrowful when he found out Mary was pregnant. He thought he would have to divorce her. What turned his sorrow into joy, was finding out it was part of God's plan.
Moses was sorrowful when he was thrown out into the desert. What turned his sorrow into joy, was being called by God to a mission. He was given a job to do.
Joseph was sorrowful when he was thrown into the pit and sold into slavery. What turned his sorrow into joy, was his knowledge that God was in control and even if people meant it for evil, God meant it for good.
They listened to God, they developed the ability to see and trust in God's plan. They knew that today's sorrows would be tomorrow's joy.
Jeremiah 31:13Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Whose cell phone is this?
I was cleaning out my purse the other day and I found a cell phone I didn't recognize. (This probably tells you, that I should clean out my purse more often.) I had no idea how long it had been in my purse or how it got there, so I thought I should do some research. It didn't have a name on it so I looked at the contact list. My name was second on the list. (Can you believe somebody had me second instead of first on their contact list?) so I called myself to see whose name would show up. The phone turned out to be a work cell phone to one of the nurses that used to work with our department. She had given me the cell phone to turn in when she returned to her other department and I had completely forgotten about it. Even though I had forgotten about the cell phone, I hadn't forgotten her. She is one of those people that make you smile.
We do remember how other people make us feel. The funny thing is that when we make other people feel loved, our mood improves. Loving people is sometimes hard work. We all have people in our lives that challenge us a bit extra in the "love" department. When we challenge ourselves physically it helps us grow physically stronger. When we challenge ourselves to love someone that takes a bit of extra work, we grow stronger in our ability to love. I like to think of this as an opportunity for a love workout. As we grow in our ability to love, we grow more like Christ, and that's a great anteater.
John 13:35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
We do remember how other people make us feel. The funny thing is that when we make other people feel loved, our mood improves. Loving people is sometimes hard work. We all have people in our lives that challenge us a bit extra in the "love" department. When we challenge ourselves physically it helps us grow physically stronger. When we challenge ourselves to love someone that takes a bit of extra work, we grow stronger in our ability to love. I like to think of this as an opportunity for a love workout. As we grow in our ability to love, we grow more like Christ, and that's a great anteater.
John 13:35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
Saturday, June 12, 2010
System Check
I have this cute little red car that I use to drive back and forth to work. It's got over 100,000 miles on it but it's still going strong. The second best thing about this car is that it has heated seats! The best thing about this car is that every time you turn it on, it does a system check of all the safety systems. The other morning on my way to church, it did a system check and said "Front Light Failure". I knew I needed to replace my head light. I need a spiritual system check for my life to tell me what part of my life needs a little work.
There are definitely spiritual system failure signals that show in my life. I get cranky or irritable. I get judgemental or critical. The problem is I don't always pay attention to the spiritual system check signals. Instead I try to justify why I acted the way I did. That way I'm not accountable and don't have to change. Everyone else has to change instead. Blaming other people is much more fun than taking responsibility for our own feelings and actions.
Sometimes, God uses events in our lives to help us do a spiritual system check. When life squeezes us, what comes out? I want grace, compassion, mercy, and love to come out. Sometimes irritableness, impatience, or crankiness comes out instead. (I know that's hard to believe but my husband will testify to that fact :-) That's a pretty good signal I need to do a spiritual system check. We are human and we won't be perfect. Just like my car needs fuel and maintenance, so do I. I want to notice the signals God gives me and learn to pay attention when He says, "Compassion failure". Time to do some spiritual maintenance.
I'd love to hear your favorite system check signals. How does God let you know it's time for some spiritual maintenance?
There are definitely spiritual system failure signals that show in my life. I get cranky or irritable. I get judgemental or critical. The problem is I don't always pay attention to the spiritual system check signals. Instead I try to justify why I acted the way I did. That way I'm not accountable and don't have to change. Everyone else has to change instead. Blaming other people is much more fun than taking responsibility for our own feelings and actions.
Sometimes, God uses events in our lives to help us do a spiritual system check. When life squeezes us, what comes out? I want grace, compassion, mercy, and love to come out. Sometimes irritableness, impatience, or crankiness comes out instead. (I know that's hard to believe but my husband will testify to that fact :-) That's a pretty good signal I need to do a spiritual system check. We are human and we won't be perfect. Just like my car needs fuel and maintenance, so do I. I want to notice the signals God gives me and learn to pay attention when He says, "Compassion failure". Time to do some spiritual maintenance.
I'd love to hear your favorite system check signals. How does God let you know it's time for some spiritual maintenance?
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Magnifying Mirrors and switching questions
My eyes are changing as I get older. I can't see close up as well as I used to (which means I can't pluck my eyebrows) so on one of my trips to Target to push the help buttons and watch the staff respond, I bought a two sided, lighted, magnifying mirror. I set it up, plugged it in, turned it on and then................I looked in it. I don't recommend it. It is too scary. You can clearly see all the wrinkles, and all the imperfections. Everything that is wrong with your face looks twice as big and three times as bad.
Self observation is an important skill. I just don't want too much of it all at once. Learning to observe ourselves, our feelings and our thoughts without judging them is hard. Just noticing what we are thinking and feeling is the first step to being able to change our thinking. Self observation helps us to be open to looking at ourselves and the events in our lives through God's eyes.
I had the privilege of teaching the high school Sunday School class this morning. We talked about how we know if we are on the judger path or the grace and mercy path. It starts with observing ourselves and noticing when we start to feel judgemental or angry. Then the question is how to get ourselves back on the grace and mercy path. The class came up with some wonderful "switching questions". These are questions they can ask themselves to get off the "judger path" and make a course correction. (For more information on switching questions and the judger path - Check out Marilee Adams book "Change Your Questions, Change Your Life")
Here are some of the switching questions the class came up with:
1. How does the other person feel?
2. Do I know the whole picture?
3. How does God see this situation?
4. Why am I feeling so judgemental?
There are a lot more "switching questions" but the important thing is to first observe when you need to switch. Then ask yourself some "switching questions".
Self Observation plus switching questions = a great anteater
James 1:19-20 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
Self observation is an important skill. I just don't want too much of it all at once. Learning to observe ourselves, our feelings and our thoughts without judging them is hard. Just noticing what we are thinking and feeling is the first step to being able to change our thinking. Self observation helps us to be open to looking at ourselves and the events in our lives through God's eyes.
I had the privilege of teaching the high school Sunday School class this morning. We talked about how we know if we are on the judger path or the grace and mercy path. It starts with observing ourselves and noticing when we start to feel judgemental or angry. Then the question is how to get ourselves back on the grace and mercy path. The class came up with some wonderful "switching questions". These are questions they can ask themselves to get off the "judger path" and make a course correction. (For more information on switching questions and the judger path - Check out Marilee Adams book "Change Your Questions, Change Your Life")
Here are some of the switching questions the class came up with:
1. How does the other person feel?
2. Do I know the whole picture?
3. How does God see this situation?
4. Why am I feeling so judgemental?
There are a lot more "switching questions" but the important thing is to first observe when you need to switch. Then ask yourself some "switching questions".
Self Observation plus switching questions = a great anteater
James 1:19-20 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Timing the staff at Target
They have these buttons all over Target saying if you need help, push the button and someone will respond within 60 seconds. So of course I had to push the button and then time them to see if it was true. I love to have people respond when I need help.
When I called one of the teenagers at church to help with a last minute power point presentation, he asked, "When do you need me?" I said, "Now". He said, "I'll be right there." It's wonderful to have people you can call on when you need help. It's also wonderful to be someone people can call on when they need help. That's what community and connection is about.
Christ tells us to love one another, honor one another, live in harmony with one another, accept one another, serve one another, bear with one another. God knows how important it is to our health and wellbeing to have healthy relationships in our lives. Building close, loving relationships teaches us how to love and as we learn how to love, we become more like Christ.
John 13:34"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
John 13:35By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
Romans 12:10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.
Romans 12:16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Romans 15:7Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
Galatians 5:13You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature ; rather, serve one another in love.
Ephesians 4:2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
When I called one of the teenagers at church to help with a last minute power point presentation, he asked, "When do you need me?" I said, "Now". He said, "I'll be right there." It's wonderful to have people you can call on when you need help. It's also wonderful to be someone people can call on when they need help. That's what community and connection is about.
Christ tells us to love one another, honor one another, live in harmony with one another, accept one another, serve one another, bear with one another. God knows how important it is to our health and wellbeing to have healthy relationships in our lives. Building close, loving relationships teaches us how to love and as we learn how to love, we become more like Christ.
John 13:34"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
John 13:35By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
Romans 12:10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.
Romans 12:16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Romans 15:7Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
Galatians 5:13You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature ; rather, serve one another in love.
Ephesians 4:2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
No Bake Cookies and Radical Acceptance
Last Saturday morning I was making some chocolate no bake cookies to take to a funeral at our church. (If you don't know what no bake cookies are, they are a wonderful combination of chocolate, peanut butter, sugar, and oatmeal. You cook them on top of the stove for one minute and then drop them onto wax paper to harden. They are delicious!) I got a phone call to go to the church immediately because the person who had given them the key to the church, had forgotten to give them the key to the room where you turn on the lights. (The room is kept locked because it also happens to be where they count the money on Sundays).
I knew they needed in right away since they were trying to bring the casket in to the church in the dark. I only live about 5 minutes from the church so I thought I can run to the church, unlock the door, and make it back in time before the cookies hardened in the pan. Of course, things didn't happen quite that smooth. Once I got to the church, I found out they also needed a powerpoint made for a song, needed the sound booth unlocked, and needed someone to run the power point for the funeral. (I found a volunteer but that is another story.) By the time I got home, the cookies were hardened in the pan :-(
This was a chance for me to practice "radical acceptance". This is a term developed by Marsha Linehan, which means you basically have four choices in life when you are dealing with something you don't like:
1. Change it. (Example - make the cookies soft again. I did try microwaving them and it helped a little but not much)
2. Change the way you feel about it (Be happy that the cookies were too hard. Wasn't going to happen, I had been tasting those cookies since I decided to make them. You probably thought I was being altruistic and making cookies just for the funeral, but the truth was at least 5-10 of them were destined for me)
3. Be miserable (I never like this option.)
4. Practice Radical Acceptance (It is what it is and move on.)
Radical Acceptance keeps you from wasting time being miserable or wishing things weren't the way they are.
God does tell us things won't always work out the way we think they should. To me, radical acceptance is about knowing God is in control and choosing not to be miserable. When bad things happen, feeling sad is normal. God understands our sadness, but we don't want to stay stuck there. Maybe it's about radical trust!
Radical Trust is a great anteater!
I knew they needed in right away since they were trying to bring the casket in to the church in the dark. I only live about 5 minutes from the church so I thought I can run to the church, unlock the door, and make it back in time before the cookies hardened in the pan. Of course, things didn't happen quite that smooth. Once I got to the church, I found out they also needed a powerpoint made for a song, needed the sound booth unlocked, and needed someone to run the power point for the funeral. (I found a volunteer but that is another story.) By the time I got home, the cookies were hardened in the pan :-(
This was a chance for me to practice "radical acceptance". This is a term developed by Marsha Linehan, which means you basically have four choices in life when you are dealing with something you don't like:
1. Change it. (Example - make the cookies soft again. I did try microwaving them and it helped a little but not much)
2. Change the way you feel about it (Be happy that the cookies were too hard. Wasn't going to happen, I had been tasting those cookies since I decided to make them. You probably thought I was being altruistic and making cookies just for the funeral, but the truth was at least 5-10 of them were destined for me)
3. Be miserable (I never like this option.)
4. Practice Radical Acceptance (It is what it is and move on.)
Radical Acceptance keeps you from wasting time being miserable or wishing things weren't the way they are.
God does tell us things won't always work out the way we think they should. To me, radical acceptance is about knowing God is in control and choosing not to be miserable. When bad things happen, feeling sad is normal. God understands our sadness, but we don't want to stay stuck there. Maybe it's about radical trust!
Radical Trust is a great anteater!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
The Cable Guy
When I had the "cable guy" over at my house to set up my mom's "silver TV Box" he was standing in front of the TV and it looked like he was texting something. He explained to me that he wasn't texting, he was sending a signal to the TV box so it would know what to do. He said he got in trouble once when he was doing the same thing and a customer complained to his supervisor that he was texting on the job. He said he learned that he needed to explain what he was doing all the time, so people would understand. I think I can learn something from the "Cable guy".
It is so easy for us to misunderstand people and to be misunderstood. One of my favorite anteaters is giving people the benefit of the doubt. I assume I don't have all the information and that if I did have, I would probably see things differently. When I get frustrated or see someone doing something that I might disagree with, I work on staying in a curious mindset. If I knew the complete picture for this person, would I see what they did differently? I try to stay curious not furious. I don't always manage to do it, but I'm working on it. I hope people will do the same for me!
God is a wonderful example of compassion and grace. I continue to work on seeing people through His eyes.
It is so easy for us to misunderstand people and to be misunderstood. One of my favorite anteaters is giving people the benefit of the doubt. I assume I don't have all the information and that if I did have, I would probably see things differently. When I get frustrated or see someone doing something that I might disagree with, I work on staying in a curious mindset. If I knew the complete picture for this person, would I see what they did differently? I try to stay curious not furious. I don't always manage to do it, but I'm working on it. I hope people will do the same for me!
God is a wonderful example of compassion and grace. I continue to work on seeing people through His eyes.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Making sense out of pain
My mom has cancer. She just recently was put on in home hospice to help control her pain and manage her symptoms. (She is living with us right now.) She has been very tired and had been sleeping 20 hours per day. The hospice doctor put her on Ritalin which is used for people with attention deficit disorder to help with her energy. The combination of sustained release morphine for pain control and Ritalin for energy has been a great combination for her. (Plus a few dozen other medications to manage her other symptoms. It takes 15 minutes just to sort out her medications for the next day.) Her pain has been at zero almost all the time and she has been sitting up and visiting for several hours per day. She has been talking "a lot".
Mostly, she has been telling stories about her life. Family members have been coming to see her and they have been having a wonderful time remembering the funny, crazy, and sweet events that have built our family memories.
As she nears the end of her life, she still has some questions about the purpose of pain. People way smarter than I am have struggled with this same question. Does pain have a purpose? Why does God allow us to hurt?
Does pain serve a purpose? It gives us information. It tells us when something is wrong. If you have a rock in your shoe, your foot sends a signal to your brain, you process the information, then you stop and take the rock out of your shoe. It prevents further damage from happening to your foot. People that don't feel pain can end up damaging themselves because they don't notice when they are doing something hurtful. People who have Leprosy don't register pain signals correctly and end up with sores and damaged skin because they didn't have pain.
Phillip Yancey, wrote a wonderful book called "Where is God when it hurts?". He says "Theologians blithely attribute pain to the Fall, ignoring the marvelous design features of the pain system. Every square millimeter of the body has a different sensitivity to pain, so that a speck of dirt may cause excruciating pain in the vulnerable eye whereas it would go unreported on the tough extremities....The pain system automatically ramps up hypersensitivity to protect an injured part (explaining why a sore thumb always seems in the way) and turns down the volume in the face of emergencies (soldiers often report no pain from a wound in the course of battle, only afterwards). Pain serves us subliminally as well: sensors make us blink several times a minute to lubricate our eyes and shift our legs and buttocks to prevent pressure sores. Pain is the most effective language the body can use to draw attention to something important."
We need to have a framework to explain the purpose of pain before we get to the place where we need it. Too often we see pain as God's big mistake (along with mosquitoes). I realize that pain has a purpose and our pain sensors are part of our intricately designed bodies, but I still don't like it. One of the amazing facts Phillip Yancey talks about in his book is how when scientists tried to design a system for people who couldn't feel pain to tell them when they should stop doing something that would cause them damage, the patients just overrode the signal to go ahead and do what they wanted to do. It wasn't until the scientists attached an electric shock to the signal that the patients would stop what they were doing that was self damaging. What does that tell me about human nature?
I also think pain helps us to feel compassion, caring, and empathy for those who are hurting. I think it makes us more careful and gentle with one another. When I understand someone else's pain, I am more tender and loving. Somehow though, someone else's headache is never as bad as mine.
Mostly, she has been telling stories about her life. Family members have been coming to see her and they have been having a wonderful time remembering the funny, crazy, and sweet events that have built our family memories.
As she nears the end of her life, she still has some questions about the purpose of pain. People way smarter than I am have struggled with this same question. Does pain have a purpose? Why does God allow us to hurt?
Does pain serve a purpose? It gives us information. It tells us when something is wrong. If you have a rock in your shoe, your foot sends a signal to your brain, you process the information, then you stop and take the rock out of your shoe. It prevents further damage from happening to your foot. People that don't feel pain can end up damaging themselves because they don't notice when they are doing something hurtful. People who have Leprosy don't register pain signals correctly and end up with sores and damaged skin because they didn't have pain.
Phillip Yancey, wrote a wonderful book called "Where is God when it hurts?". He says "Theologians blithely attribute pain to the Fall, ignoring the marvelous design features of the pain system. Every square millimeter of the body has a different sensitivity to pain, so that a speck of dirt may cause excruciating pain in the vulnerable eye whereas it would go unreported on the tough extremities....The pain system automatically ramps up hypersensitivity to protect an injured part (explaining why a sore thumb always seems in the way) and turns down the volume in the face of emergencies (soldiers often report no pain from a wound in the course of battle, only afterwards). Pain serves us subliminally as well: sensors make us blink several times a minute to lubricate our eyes and shift our legs and buttocks to prevent pressure sores. Pain is the most effective language the body can use to draw attention to something important."
We need to have a framework to explain the purpose of pain before we get to the place where we need it. Too often we see pain as God's big mistake (along with mosquitoes). I realize that pain has a purpose and our pain sensors are part of our intricately designed bodies, but I still don't like it. One of the amazing facts Phillip Yancey talks about in his book is how when scientists tried to design a system for people who couldn't feel pain to tell them when they should stop doing something that would cause them damage, the patients just overrode the signal to go ahead and do what they wanted to do. It wasn't until the scientists attached an electric shock to the signal that the patients would stop what they were doing that was self damaging. What does that tell me about human nature?
I also think pain helps us to feel compassion, caring, and empathy for those who are hurting. I think it makes us more careful and gentle with one another. When I understand someone else's pain, I am more tender and loving. Somehow though, someone else's headache is never as bad as mine.
Understanding the purpose and gift of pain only works for me until the next time I hit my head on the open cupboard door or stub my toe in the middle of the night, but I'm working on it.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Surprise Gifts from God
Mom and I were getting ready to go to my cousin's wedding in California. I told her I wouldn't take her if she didn't get a new bra! She had a radical masectomy back in 1979 and I don't think she had bought a new bra since then. (Ok, I am exagerating a little bit but not much.) The best place to get a new bra after a masectomy is at a specialized store. We live in a small town that doesn't have anything accept some minimarts. So I went on the internet and found a store in Portland, Oregon, about 40 minutes from our house.
Mom and I drove down to the store and started talking to the woman that was helping us with her fitting. She was the owner of the store and was very kind and understanding. Her name was Margie and I used to go by Margie. We found out her mom was from Kansas. (We are from Kansas). We found out her mom went to Kansas State and my Mom went to the University of Kansas. Then mom asked her what her mother's name was and it turned out her mother used to be my mother's best friend in high school. My mom had so much fun telling her stories about her mother. It was the best surprise. My mom couldn't stop smiling for days. It brought back so many wonderful memories. It was one of those surprise gifts from God "just because".
What I have started noticing is that God does that a lot in our lives. He drops in little surprises just because he loves us. Our job is to notice them. I often think if I had been Moses, I would never have stopped long enough to notice the bush wasn't burning up. Sometimes to see God's small gifts, we have to slow down and look around us. We have to notice the small surprises God has placed in our path - a beautiful color, a smile from a stranger, a kind word from a friend.
The second part is to give God the credit. When I stop and say thank you, it helps me acknowledge and appreciate God's love for me. To acknowledge God's actions in every part of our lives helps shift our frame of reference. It gives us a different view of the world. It reminds us we are God's very loved child. It reminds us God is in control and we don't have to run the world. It reminds me, God is holding me in the palm of his hand...and that's a great anteater.
Mom and I drove down to the store and started talking to the woman that was helping us with her fitting. She was the owner of the store and was very kind and understanding. Her name was Margie and I used to go by Margie. We found out her mom was from Kansas. (We are from Kansas). We found out her mom went to Kansas State and my Mom went to the University of Kansas. Then mom asked her what her mother's name was and it turned out her mother used to be my mother's best friend in high school. My mom had so much fun telling her stories about her mother. It was the best surprise. My mom couldn't stop smiling for days. It brought back so many wonderful memories. It was one of those surprise gifts from God "just because".
What I have started noticing is that God does that a lot in our lives. He drops in little surprises just because he loves us. Our job is to notice them. I often think if I had been Moses, I would never have stopped long enough to notice the bush wasn't burning up. Sometimes to see God's small gifts, we have to slow down and look around us. We have to notice the small surprises God has placed in our path - a beautiful color, a smile from a stranger, a kind word from a friend.
The second part is to give God the credit. When I stop and say thank you, it helps me acknowledge and appreciate God's love for me. To acknowledge God's actions in every part of our lives helps shift our frame of reference. It gives us a different view of the world. It reminds us we are God's very loved child. It reminds us God is in control and we don't have to run the world. It reminds me, God is holding me in the palm of his hand...and that's a great anteater.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
How else can I think about this?
I was sitting at an intersection and even though the light was green, I couldn't move because the cross traffic was blocking the intersection. (Of course I was running late for a meeting.) I know it's hard to believe, but I started having some ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) such as "I guess I need to leave earlier to compensate for people who are so inconsiderate that they block the intersection." "I can't believe people are so dumb." All of a sudden, I was feeling tense and angry and it didn't feel good. Being a wonderful, observant, mental health therapist, I know that our thoughts trigger our feelings and I noticed I wasn't exactly having positive, loving thoughts. Then I asked myself, "How else can I think about this?"
When you are trying to change your thinking, putting on a grace and mercy filter is always a good start. So I started to tell myself, "I need to leave earlier so I can leave enough time to deal with life's unexpected twists." "I'm sure the people stuck in the middle of the intersection must be frustrated too. They didn't do this on purpose to block traffic." "How can I enjoy this extra time to listen to my favorite radio station?" "Can I imagine myself back on the beach in Hawaii by my aunt's house?" (See picture above taken 1/2 block from my aunt's house in Hawaii.)
Pretty soon, my mood started to relax. I started to smile as I realized I had just stepped on a few ANTS. Asking yourself, "How else can I think about this?" is a great anteater.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
The Cordless Phone and Easter
My husband was trying to find our cordless phone. He went to the base and pushed the button to make it beep. He could hear it beeping in the dining room where he was standing but he couldn't find the phone. He pushed the beeper again and went into the living room. He could hear it beeping in the living room but he couldn't find it. He pushed the beeper again. He went into the bedroom. He could hear the phone beeping in the bedroom but he couldn't find it. He kept pushing the beeper and hearing the phone no matter where he went in the house but he couldn't find the phone. I was having fun watching him look for the phone but, I finally decided I should tell him, it was in his back pocket.
Easter is a perfect time to remind ourselves, even though we keep searching for God, He isn't lost. He is always with us. The trick is to stop and listen to his voice. He is closer than our back pocket :-)
Anteater - Remembering that God is always with you.
Easter is a perfect time to remind ourselves, even though we keep searching for God, He isn't lost. He is always with us. The trick is to stop and listen to his voice. He is closer than our back pocket :-)
Anteater - Remembering that God is always with you.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
What to give your father-in-law for Christmas
My son's father-in-law, Ed, is a die hard Washington State Cougar fan. Both my son and his wife attended WSU (I don't think my son's father-in-law would have let him marry his daughter, if he hadn't gone to WSU, so it's a good thing since my daughter-in-law is wonderful!)
Several years ago, Ed had a special, one of a kind, hand made, WSU rain poncho that he loved to wear to the games. He always got asked by people how they could get one like it. It had wonderful pockets, it was big enough to keep out the rain and to wear a warm jacket underneath. He loved that poncho. Sadly, one day it got left in a rental car and was never seen again. (Even after calling the company several times and doing everything he could to find it.)
Fast forward about 3 years. My son is working for a company and a fairly new guy sees the WSU memorabilia on his desk and asks him if he would like an old WSU poncho he had. He had gone to Montana State but he used to work for a rental car company and he been given this old WSU poncho that had been found and he never knew what to do with it. He had moved it with him through many moves and had thought about throwing it out, but he never did. My son said sure, he would take it off his hands and thought "Here's a great (read cheap) Christmas gift to give my father-in-law".
Fast forward to Christmas Eve. My son and his wife walk into his in-law's house and he is carrying this nylon bag with the poncho inside. Ed, my son's father-in-law, jumps up and says "That's mine". He grabs the bag out of my son's hands and opens it up. He pulls out the poncho and just breaks out laughing and smiling. It was his poncho! (He says he knew it was his old poncho because he recognized the nylon bag which was missing a draw string.) My son is now his favorite son-in-law. Ok, he is his only son-in-law, but that's not the point.
Even when we don't know God is at work, he is. Sometimes, we spend our time questioning why the poncho had to disappear for 3 years, or why it had to get lost at all, instead of just resting in the knowledge that God is at work and he is in control. He knew where that poncho was all along. Maybe he just wanted to boost my son's standing with his father-in-law. Maybe God just wanted to see the joy on Ed's face. I don't know. I do know that reminding ourselves that God is at work, even when we don't see anything happening, is a wonderful anteater.
Bonus Anteater - God is even more delighted when he sees us, than Ed was when he saw his old poncho. God delights in us. He sees us and sees his image in us and says "You are mine".
Several years ago, Ed had a special, one of a kind, hand made, WSU rain poncho that he loved to wear to the games. He always got asked by people how they could get one like it. It had wonderful pockets, it was big enough to keep out the rain and to wear a warm jacket underneath. He loved that poncho. Sadly, one day it got left in a rental car and was never seen again. (Even after calling the company several times and doing everything he could to find it.)
Fast forward about 3 years. My son is working for a company and a fairly new guy sees the WSU memorabilia on his desk and asks him if he would like an old WSU poncho he had. He had gone to Montana State but he used to work for a rental car company and he been given this old WSU poncho that had been found and he never knew what to do with it. He had moved it with him through many moves and had thought about throwing it out, but he never did. My son said sure, he would take it off his hands and thought "Here's a great (read cheap) Christmas gift to give my father-in-law".
Fast forward to Christmas Eve. My son and his wife walk into his in-law's house and he is carrying this nylon bag with the poncho inside. Ed, my son's father-in-law, jumps up and says "That's mine". He grabs the bag out of my son's hands and opens it up. He pulls out the poncho and just breaks out laughing and smiling. It was his poncho! (He says he knew it was his old poncho because he recognized the nylon bag which was missing a draw string.) My son is now his favorite son-in-law. Ok, he is his only son-in-law, but that's not the point.
Even when we don't know God is at work, he is. Sometimes, we spend our time questioning why the poncho had to disappear for 3 years, or why it had to get lost at all, instead of just resting in the knowledge that God is at work and he is in control. He knew where that poncho was all along. Maybe he just wanted to boost my son's standing with his father-in-law. Maybe God just wanted to see the joy on Ed's face. I don't know. I do know that reminding ourselves that God is at work, even when we don't see anything happening, is a wonderful anteater.
Bonus Anteater - God is even more delighted when he sees us, than Ed was when he saw his old poncho. God delights in us. He sees us and sees his image in us and says "You are mine".
Friday, March 26, 2010
White Dove of the Desert
This is the St. Xavier Mission Del Bac, also known as the White Dove of the Desert. It is located near Tucson, Arizona. They have been doing a lot of restoration work. Dave and I watched the video about the restoration. It is slow, painstaking work but the result is beautiful. The artists gently rebuilt the broken pieces, restored the colors, cleaned off the dirt, and found beautiful art work underneath the dirt and grime. Sounds a lot like the work God does in us doesn't it? Good thing God is patient and persistent in working in our lives to restore his image within us. 
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Hugs in unexpected places
While I was on the plane, flying to Tucson to my cousin's wedding, I was sitting across the aisle from two adult women. They appeared to be mother and daughter. Their hair exactly matched in color and it was almost the same shade of beautiful red hair my daughter had when she was little. (Before she started dying it all the time :-) They were talking and obviously enjoyed spending time together. I could tell they loved one another and delighted in being with each other. When we got off the plane, I found myself standing in line with them waiting for our baggage. Of course, I had to make a comment about how sweet it was to see them together and that it made me miss my daughter. They asked where my daughter was and I told them she was in Cambodia for 4-6 months. The young woman turned out to be about my daughter's age. She reached over and gave me a hug and said "that's for your daughter". It brought tears to my eyes, but it made my day.
Hugs are great anteaters. Giving them and receiving them!
Hugs are great anteaters. Giving them and receiving them!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tucson Trip - plants
This is a Sunflower Tree. I didn't even know sunflowers grew as trees. (And I was born in Kansas. I should know these things.)
Flowers at the Desert Museum near Tucson, Arizona
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